


Cold in the Trenches

by Diego_Brando



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, M/M, bait and switch, ww1 au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 16:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2587994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diego_Brando/pseuds/Diego_Brando
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>World War 1 AU.</p><p>It sure does get lonely in the Trenches, and nothing makes it worse than having breaks with even less things happening.</p><p>Luckily, Eridan and Sollux will probably find some way to break the monotony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold in the Trenches

**Author's Note:**

> I did NOT know how to end this one.

“Another day, another fuckin slog.”

The rain beat down. Eridan walked, his shoes sticking to the mud like the entire fucking earth was trying to bring him down. He looked up and turned around, seeing Sollux with his entire front splattered in mud. He’d fallen down a second time now, but he was too tired to care. Everyone was so tired. 

Sollux was Eridan’s best sort-of-friend, in that they were utter shit to each other but despite that they were so inseparable Sollux had taken his fist to Eridan’s face three times and Eridan had stomped on Sollux a few times and they still trusted and liked each other enough to sleep back to back in the trenches. 

He turned back ahead to see another few friends. Gamzee and Tavros looked like they were having a different time. Gamzee was singing through his gritty voice and walking with a damn spring in his step. He didn’t seem to get tired. 

Tavros looked like Eridan felt- dirty and shitty and tired as fuck. But he did look a bit cheerful, probably thanks to Gamzee singing. And Equius stomped ahead of them, sweating like a pig but that was normal. Equius sweat in the Russian Winter Rain, and that is not a joke. He was still wearing the tank-top, too.

Anyway. Eridan’s spirit’s lifted from “In the shitter” to “in the dumpster” when he caught site of the campgrounds he’d stay at for long enough to like it before marching right the hell out of there.

Eridan had one of those things where you don’t focus and you feel like time has skipped and then he heard the noise of opening. Starting, he looked up. Equius had opened the door. Eridan got inside and out of the rain and felt what felt like 80 pounds of water slide off him and onto the floor, joining the 240 pounds or so already on the floor. He closed the door behind him and locked it, and realized he didn’t see Karkat walking when he heard a heavy thunk, and Equius dropped Karkat’s wet body heavily onto the floor. Eridan smiled and turned to see Gamzee wringing his hair out. Gamzee had been out here so long, his hair had actually grown out.

Suddenly there was a banging on the window. Eridan turned to see Sollux’s livid face out the window, beating on it like it had locked him outside in the rain after a 10-mile march after an 11-month battle in the trenches after a 7 week training montague after signing up with Karkat to go shoot some Germans. Eridan didn’t know why he was so mad at the window, because Eridan himself had locked him outside.

“ERIIDAN FUCKIING AMPORA II WIILL FUCKIING MURDER YOU LET ME INTO THI2 GOD DAMN FUCKIING HOU2E OR MY GHOST WIILL RIIP YOUR DIICK OFF AND FEED IIT TWO YOU” he screeched, pounding on the window.

After another three minutes of being locked outside and a half hour in front of a fire, Eridan had gotten three bruises, a cut on his eyebrow and Sollux had almost gotten beaten with a poker and thrown in the fire, and both of them had been smacked hard enough to make their teeth rattle by Equius. Karkat was still out cold and Equius was still hotter than the fire Gamzee, Tavros, Sollux and Eridan were sitting around. The fireplace was nice, brick and wood. Eridan wondered if he could stay at this base until Christmas, but only officers and wounded stayed. 

Eridan looked down until his hair started dripping into a puddle, and then he looked back up. Sadly, this made water go down the back of his neck. Despite all this, he started to drift away slightly....

Until he came right back as a gush of water flowed down the back of his neck.

“WWAAAUGH!” Eridan shouted, breaking the silence. Sollux started giggling- he had wrung his hair out on Eridan’s head, drenching his neck further. Eridan stood up, shoved him, and sat back down, closer to the fire.

“I really don’t know how you f001s still have the energy to fight after all this shit we’ve been through.” Equius said, in his whispering voice. Eridan had never heard him speak above a whisper ever. Despite this, Equius still scared Eridan and Sollux.

“My only joy ii2 tormentiing hiim. That’2 all II have.” Sollux said, sniggering.

“All I havve to do wwith my life is ruin his. And you know wwhat, it’s wworth it. I’m havving enough fun to wwarrent it.” Eridan said, raising his eyebrow at Equius.

“Whatever. Do not e%pect me to save you idiots if you get shot f001ing around.” Equius whispered, spinning on his heel. He waved his hand above Karkat’s face to ensure he was alive, then sat down next to Eridan. Eridan could feel the heat radiating off of his body, warming him as he sat next to him.

“GoD, iT’s CoLd.” Gamzee said. “I aM mOrE mOtHeRfUcKiNg CoLd ThAn I hAvE eVeR bEeN iN mY lIfE.”

“aND LONELY,.” Tavros offered, breaking his silence with his faltering voice. “i DON’T THINK i’VE SEEN A GIRL SINCE… wELL, SINCE i SET OUT,.”

“This fuckin place is so lackin in a wwoman’s touch I think if you brought a girl here this fuckin shack wwould collapse after she tried to spruce it up.” Eridan smirked, chuckling to himself.

“Liike you’ve ever had a woman’2 touch, EE.” Sollux hissed in Eridan’s ear, smacking him on the head.

“Fuck right off, Sol. You havven’t either.” Eridan hissed back.

“Whatever.”

“Wwhatevvah.”

Equius hit them both again and they quieted down.

“I tElL yOu WhAt, I mIsS tHe GiRlS fOr OtHeR rEaSoNs..” Gamzee said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I hAvEn’T fElT a WoMaN’s ToUcH iN a WhIlE. iF yOu KnOw WhAt I’m SaYiNg.”

Dead silence. Everyone knew what he was saying, of course, no one had gotten their rocks off since before training. Eridan had done so three hours before shipping out, which he hoped hadn’t had any consequences. He hadn’t gotten any letters besides “I hate you” so he assumed that no news was good news. He didn’t like her that much and he was happy enough to be rid of her.

Back to the matter at hand, Gamzee was staring at Tavros. Tavros was staring into the fire, and he didn’t even notice. Tavros was slowly opening his mouth.

“yOU KNOW,... i HEAR stories.... fROM THE OTHER GUYS.” Tavros whimpered. “sTORIES OF A MAN… gIVING A WOMAN’S TOUCH…”

Silence. This seemed to be happening more and more as time went on. Gamzee looked at Equius, who had gotten what Tavros was implying a bit later than everyone else and had begun sweating. Eridan was beginning to feel a bit hot under the collar as well. He noticed that his socks were dry though, so that was nice. He shook his head to distract himself and refocus back onto the fact that Tavros was advertising sinful things. Not that Eridan cared, but he didn’t know what else to call it.

“But… ii2n’t that a 2iin or 2omethiing?” Sollux asked.

“NoPe. GoD aCtuAlLy ReCoMmEnDs It.” Gamzee answered.

“Wwhere?”

“Do UnTo OtHeRs As YoU wOuLd HaVe ThEm Do UnTo You.”

Silence. Eridan realized that he actually might be onto something.

“Boys cannot love boys. That is forbidden love.” Equius hissed.

“WhAtEvEr, MaN. dOn’T kNoCk It TiLl YoU tRy It.” Gamzee grunted at him. “AnD I hAvEn’T tRiEd It, So I’m NoT kNoCkInG iT.”

“wELL…” Tavros whimpered. “i mIGHT… bE OF SERVICE… iF YOU WANT TO TRY.”

Silence. Utter, pregnant, complete silence. 

“SuRe.”

Silence. Loud, deafening, screeching silence. 

In the silence, Gamzee stood up and offered his hand to Tavros. Tavros took it, and they walked into the first door they found. It turned out to be a closet. Tavros pulled back, wanting to find a room with a bed, but Gamzee yanked his arm, pulling them both into the closet. The door shut.

Silence. Then, the silence was broken by the sound of belts being undone. Then a sound of… slapping. Smacking, even. Eridan turned to look at Sollux. He was so pale. He heard dripping on his left: Equius was sweating so much now.

“Diid… diid that ju2t happen…?” He asked, quivering.

“Yeah… I think that it did.” Eridan answered, quivering as well.

“Why didn’t we stop them from engaging in acts so…” Equius whispered, sweating more and more as the smacking got louder and faster. “...lewd.”

“WHAT THE SHIT. I PASS OUT IN A MARCH AND I WAKE UP AND….” Karkat had awoken. “WHAT. THE. SHIT.” He was clearly not happy to find two friends missing and banging in the closet. Eridan thought about how poor a choice of words “banging” was when Karkat continued. “WHO IS GAMZEE HAVING SEX WITH?” He shouted, glaring at the semi-circle of idiots sitting around the fire. “AND WHERE IS TAVROS?” Silence from the semi-circle.

Karkat’s face went from angry to livid to scared in under ten seconds. Then he went very, very red. Eridan thought he was going to start shouting even more, even louder, but then the redness spread to his neck and even down to his hands. Eridan worried that this meant even louder shouting that thought possible prior to Karkat’s birth, but Karkat hid his face in the sheets and breathed out of his nose. He was blushing. He was blushing so much.

“Thii2 ii2 giiviing me certain thought2.” Sollux whispered to Eridan after a long silence only punctuated by the smacking being joined by grunts. “Thought2 you may fiind… off-puttiing.”

“Sollux… wwhat is it?”

“Well, they are… iin the closet… doiing… thiing2…”

“Wwell, yeah…”

“And… they are friiend2… and we are friiend2…”

“Wwe are…” Eridan was beginning to see what Sollux was saying, and he didn’t think he wanted any part in it. He checked around his shoulder- Equius was standing outside in the rain to try to drown out the noise- or to drown out himself. Karkat had locked himself in another closet with a lot of pillows and blankets, presumably wrapped around his head to quiet the thumps and grunts and man-moans. “Wwhere are you going wwith this?”

“Well… iif you wanted… we could do…” Sollux went from pale and scared to pale and about to puke- “we could do what they are doing.” He swallowed hard. Eridan wondered if that was foreshadowing, until he realized that he had NO intentions of doing anything with Sollux.

“Sure, I’ll take it. Let’s find a room wwith a bed, though.” his mouth said. Fuck. Fuck. Why had he said that?

“Ok.” Sollux whispered, taking him by the hand. Eridan had said yes, he had said yes and he didn’t know why. He needed to think of a way out of it. 

Sollux lead him into a bedroom, closing the door behind him. He sat down on the bed, pulling Eridan down next to him. Soulllx started removing his clothes, but Eridan stoppen him. “Leavve it on.”

Eridan put his hands on Sollux’s shoulders. He slid them down to his sides and then down onto his thighs. Sollux leaned in to kiss him… Eridan opened his mouth, squeezing Sollux’s thigh… and Sollux shot prematurely, splattering Eridan’s leg with fluids, soaking into the bedsheets.

That’s not slang or something, the revolver Sollux carried on his hip fired and hit Eridan in the thigh, and he started bleeding all over the bed. Sollux stopped moving in for the kill and Eridan paused, looking down at his thigh. Sollux’s eyes widened in shock and Eridan raised one eyebrow. Sollux started hyperventilating until he noticed how the gun had actually went off-Eridan’s hand was on it. He had pulled the trigger, and fired the revolver at himself. Sollux slowly breathed out through his nose and looked back up at Eridan.

Eridan, apparently not feeling the pain of having SHOT himself yet, cracked a little smile. Sollux almost punched him, but then wondered how ethical it was to punch that what was just shot.

Karkat knocked on the door and then without waiting, opened it. Equius was right behind him, and they saw what had happened. Or, what Eridan wanted them to think had happened. Sollux’s revolver had gone off and he’d hit Eridan in the leg. Equius yanked his shirt off, tied it around Eridan’s leg tightly, and then picked him up and carried him to the front door. He pointed at Karkat and said “Call the medics. Tell them I’m on the way.” And then he charged out the door, running at full tilt. 

“YOU FUCKIING 2HOT YOUR2ELF IIN THE LEG BECAUSE YOU DIIDN’T WANT TO BED ME II CAN’T FUCKIING BELIIEVE YOU SHIITBIIRD” Sollux screeched at Eridan from back at the house. Eridan smiled, giggling to himself.

“MAKING YOU MISERABLE IS ALL I FUCKIN HAVVE, DICKHEAD!” Eridan shouted back.

A short ten minutes or so later, Equius’s shirt was drenched in blood and Eridan was starting to feel woozy, but he was awake and it felt like his wound was closing up. He could also see the doctor’s building, a few miles from the shack they were hiding in until they got assigned to a new trench. But now Eridan was in the doctor's with a bullet in his leg.

Equius got in the door and Eridan was taken from him and placed on a gurney by about three nurses. They wheeled him into a hallway, giving him enough time for Eridan to wave at him and enough time to see Equius nod and turn to leave. Eridan’s leg was bandaged properly after they took the bullet out and hung it on a necklace. Then they dropped him in the overnight ward- he wasn’t going anywhere for a while.

After a few hours of sleep, Eridan awoke to find someone rearranging his nightstand. Someone with thick glasses and long hair and a beautiful face. Her nametag said “Feferi Peixes” or something like that.

“Hello.” he said, causing the girl to jump a little. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you…” he apologized.

“No no, it’s fine. I just jumped a little. It’s nice to meet you, by the way! I’m Feferi, I know you’re Eridan, so that’s that!.” she gushed, happy and bubbly.

“Are you the anesthesiologist?” Eridan asked.

“No, I’m just the nurse for your ward and I-”

“Because you’re makin me feel wweak in the knees.”

Silence filled with Feferi blushing slightly. She smiled and said, “That was funny! I liked it, is was kinda cute.”

“You’re kinda cute.” 

“Oh my god, stop that!! It’s too sweet.”

“You’re probably too swweet too. Probably.” 

Feferi tilted her head at him. “You probably think you’re smart, don’t you?”

“I am smart.”

“You got shot.”

“You don’t knoww the circumstances that lead up to it.” he said, turning away.

“What were the circumstances, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Wwell.” And so Eridan explained the circumstances leading up to this gunshot.

Three hours later, Feferi was sitting a table in the break room. Her friend and fellow nurse, Nepeta, showed up with some fresh coffee and a smile on her face. “:33 Top ya off?” she asked, lifting the coffee pot.

“Yeah, sure… dya mind if I ask you a question?” Feferi asked, pushing her messed-up hair out of her eyes.

“:?? Why sure, silly!” 

“Is there a rule against relationships with a patient?” Feferi asked.

“:(( well you aren’t supposed to and you could lose your medical licence. You thinking about the new guy who just showed up?” Nepeta answered after thinking about it a little.

“You could say that. I am indeed thinking about him.”

“:33 Awww…. that’s kinda cute!” Nepeta squeed.

“Kinda. You said I could lose my medical licence?” 

“;33 yeah it’s a purretty big deal!”

“I should have lost it 3 times today then. He-”

At this point Feferi was cut off by the sound of Nepeta choking on her coffee hard enough to make her hack and cough.

 

-10 Years Later-

“Anywway, that is wwhy I wwear this necklace, that is howw I met your mother, and that’s wwhy Uncle Gamzee never married.”

“--Eridan, are you telling them that story?” Feferi asked from the kitchen.

“No dear, I’m not.” He turned to toddler Meenah and child Cronus and winked conspiratorially. “Anywway, wwar is hell.”


End file.
